Thursday, August 5, 2010

Wiz and Worry

So my sweetie is almost two weeks old now.  Last night we had to wake him up several times to get him to eat and I got so worried.  Back in the hospital his sleepiness was what kept him from gaining weight and kept us at the hospital extra days.  Up until last night we'd been doing much better with not having to wake him.  He generally would wake up on his own and fuss and let us know he was hungry.  But last night he just wanted to sleep and sleep.  So naturally, I panicked and thought this was the secret to SIDS.  Needless to say, I didn't sleep well all night.

We called the pediatrician's office this morning and I felt a little better when the nurse didn't totally poo poo my fears.  She said she thought it was most likely just that he was sleepy and not hungry and so there was no need to constantly wake him to eat, but that she would call back in a little while to see if he was still having this problem.  So, of course, then he was acting hungry at 10:30 and when I went to nurse him, he fed perfectly and I got to feel like a paranoid first-time parent when the nurse called back.  She was nice, though, and didn't patronize me for it.  I'm sure she deals with paranoid first-time parents all the time and I doubt I'm the worst of them.  Anyway, the positive aspect of this was that she said there was no longer any need to wake him at night if he wants to sleep.  Now, whether we'll ever get another night where he wants to sleep for long periods of time without eating or needing a diaper change, who knows.  But if we do, I guess there's no need to freak out.  I hope I can manage not to.  No promises, though.

I find it very difficult to simply let myself be happy with him.  It was such a struggle for us to get pregnant and then my pregnancy was very difficult.  I was nauseated through the entire nine months.  I was even starting to think the nausea was in my head and so it wouldn't go away after I had him, but apparently it was really a pregnancy symptom because it was gone immediately after he was born.  Suddenly the foods that grossed me out sounded good again.  Weird how the female body works.  Anyway, all of that combined with the difficult birth I had and the difficult time we had with him in the hospital where he wouldn't eat and lost too much weight makes me extra paranoid that this isn't really meant to last.  Or that I'm fighting fate and so soon it's going to be taken away from me.  I guess that's a rather ego-centric way of thinking.  But I admit that I am a little afraid of letting myself be happy for fear that it will get snatched out from under me.

On a lighter note, we have also been having issues with urine.  You would think that when we take his diaper off, we get a lovely little shower, and that has happened more than once.  But the biggest problem is that he manages to pee down the back of his diaper and get his back wet over and over.  And, of course, this not only ruins whatever he happens to be wearing, but it also soils the bassinet sheets or the changing table cover, whatever he happens to be lying on.

I believe, though, that I discovered the cause of this problem as well.  When Mike changes his diaper (which, since he is an awesome daddy, he does frequently), he tends not to put the back of the diaper as far up his back and not to tighten it as much as I do.  I think maybe he's afraid of hurting him by making it too tight.  But I think it's causing his diaper to slip down enough that when he pees, it goes up his back and leaks out of the diaper.  Boys and their pee, it never ceases to amaze me.

Fortunately, I think we have resolved both problems.  At least for the time being, we're back to "normal", whatever that means.  Of course, next Monday I'll be doing this all myself, so totally new ball game.  And it would be really nice if my darn incision would heal.  It would make everything involving taking care of him so much easier.

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